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| Cruise Ship Dessert I had in July! |
So Don and I decided to stop at In N Out Burger on the way home from Berkeley today for a juicy cheeseburger and fries..... hmmm, well the chocolate milkshake helped! I only drank about half of one. Two or three bites of cheeseburger and I gave up, the fries... well, I can't describe that.
Don assured me everything tasted good to him, so it definitely is the tastebuds of mine. Not a very good diet plan I must say, but effective.
The past year we have been on Weight watchers, and I have sweated hard and sacrificed and eaten healthier than I have in most of my life and it has paid off! But it has been about 2 pounds a month not week for me, at least I know I'm not gaining that weight back anytime soon.
So when I read up on chemotherapy and found out that most women gain 20 pounds, I wanted to just cry! NOOOOO I worked too hard for every one of those pounds, they cannot come back on me!!! Absolutely not... I refuse to accept that. It almost made me say no to the treatment...
I spoke to my oncologist about it, and she said, no, that it is only the people who reward themselves too much (You know, eat ice cream everytime they can, cake, the sweet stuff) while they are going through chemotherapy that gain weight, of course Dr. Pan, another colleague just said "You are going to gain weight!" I was not happy. I prayed about this. I said... "I'm going to track every thing I eat, because Weight Watchers is working and so therefore, I know how much I can eat every day and still lose a pound or two a month and not gain weight, at least that way if it is chemical related, I will lose it after the chemo is over!" I told my doctor this, I told the study lady Tanya this... I told God this... God, you just have to help me pleeeeeeease!
Two days before I went in for the first treatment I weighed myself at home and had finally lost that magical 2 more pounds from the previous month and was so excited and proud about it for myself and for Don (who has only been my companion in this because he cooks most of our meals).
You can imagine my distress when I went in on the day of treatment, they made me weigh myself with my shoes on! YIKES... that is a definite 2-3 pounds right there... I wondered if it mattered in the dosing? But the frustrating thing was on their scale I had gained 4 pounds overnight!!! What???? 4 pounds, that is not normal you don't gain 4 pounds overnight... ((Not counting the shoes)) (Honest I did not go out and splurge on chocolate cake and cookies). I reasoned, it had to be the cortisone pills that I started the day before.... Then during chemo, my belly kind of was swollen for the whole day after a certain point (this is a side effect). When I got home, I had gained 10 pounds by my scale! I immediately sent off a note to my doctor panicked that this wasn't normal, that something was wrong, etc., etc., she assured me it was within the normal span of treatment and as long as I wasn't in pain, sick, etc., everything would be okay.
Well I needed not to have worried about it. Once I finished the antinausea medication, my weight was trending back down to normal, which meant it was all water weight and it was leaving me a little slower than it had come on, but it was trending down... YES!!!! Thank you God, you are Glorious in your answers to my prayers (as selfish as they are)....
Well by that time, the tastebuds started losing their flavor discernment! So, I haven't needed to track every bite I eat, I just need to eat when I'm hungry and eat as much nourishing food as I can! And thanks to several people who brought nourishing soups and vegetables and fruit over for us to eat because I haven't starved. I walked around the block today at a pretty normal clip without tiring, and my energy is coming back... YES! So I'm in that reasoning mode today, if my energy is coming back, maybe my tastebuds will return too before my next treatment, that will be when I will track every bite I eat!
I have lost significantly more weight in this last week than is probably good, but I figure it is going to all even out over time, as my appetite and taste returns it will be balanced. My job is to stay balanced, to not get too excited over minor extremes because like things that are just too good to be true, things that make you gain weight too fast will also disappear just as quickly (like chemo drugs and water I mean, not chocolate cake)...
I'm so thankful for God's grace to me at this time and that I can eat and am able to hold my grandson and talk to my kids and pray for my friends.... Thank you Jesus for helping me face this battle of today and these tastebuds; YOU created my tastebuds and YOU know what will help them return to normal, so I'm counting on you Jesus to take care of that in YOUR Time,....
PS: Yes even on the cruise using Weight Watchers guidelines I was able to eat the above pictured dessert and lose 2 pounds in July! ;-)
Thanks for sharing JaNell! It's good to hear your progress. Blessings on your adventure!
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